Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Skinny Jeans on Men

Ok, maybe I need to change the name of this post to "Skinny Jeans Kill Your Sperm!" or something equally alarming. Something must be done to kill this fashion trend among men!
Take for example, this guy at Lavazza:

Who could have possible told him that these pants look attractive? Or would enhance his image in the eyes of the world? Ok ok you might say that maybe he doesn't care what the world thinks of him, maybe he's self confident enough to do his own thing.

That just doesn't fly. If you look at these skinny jeans people (and there are a lot of them in Logan Square) you begin to notice that their fashion choices are basically the same as the next skinny jean type. It's as much a conformist uniform as the iconic "Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" though in my opinion a much uglier uniform. So now we have someone who is not only a clone, but a poorly dressed one as well.

And be honest, what woman wants a man who wears jeans that skinny (of course other then the equally conformist hipster girl)? Now I'm not jumping on the "men should be real men, ubersexual" bandwagon. Those types of people are usually trying to justify a man acting as if he were the center of the universe, that the usual roles don't apply to him, that all sorts of bodily functions should be allowed and discussed in public, and finally has a real problem sorting out exactly what they think are the roles and rights of women in the world. But come on, with legs skinny enough to fit into these jeans these guys would probably have trouble pushing through a heavy revolving door, let alone carrying or moving large objects for their loved ones. I have never, never met a women who did not admit to loving the feeling that when she is being held by a man, she is really being held by a man, and not some skinny bean pole. And when the zombies come, or those crazy S/M wearing bandits come sweeping off the plains signifying the end of the world as we know it, these skinny jeans guys are not going to be the ones people coming looking for for help.

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